So I guess I’m not really a feminist. I’m a respectivist. No, it’s not a real word, but it should be. The world should have men respecting women for their ability to keep a family together. Women respecting men for being natural protectors. Women respecting women for making whatever decision feels right: to stay at home to raise a family or to pursue the high-powered career they have always dreamed of, or anything in between. Men respecting men for supporting their wives, sisters, mothers, cousins, friends, colleagues, or rivals in making that very decision.
You saw him today.
Yes, no matter how much time passes by, he is the one who makes a smile spread across your face the second you are reunited. The one who still makes your heart skip a beat when his name flashes on your phone. The one who gives you butterflies when he compliments you. The one that, no matter how many years pass or how much you grow, will always have a little piece of your heart.
Yes, you thought you were better, thought you had finally put this all behind you. You’ve grown and changed, but those feelings rushed in the second you thought it was safe to open the door to peek at them. So that feeling returned and brought you back to when anything was possible.
But for one reason or another, it is not meant to be, at least not now, but maybe not ever. As perfect as it may seem in the moment, it isn’t. Maybe you aren’t laughing as hard as you could, maybe there is a false sense of trust, or maybe, just maybe, you were meant for someone else.
Yes, someone, maybe far away or maybe close by, but not him. No, not him. You must let go and move on and give him to someone else. Someone who needs him more than you.
And you need someone else more, too. You may not see it now, but honey, it is God’s honest truth. The two of you will fit perfectly, one piece to join the other, and you’ll forget what happened in the days before you fit together.
But for now, you’ll let the beats skip and the butterflies fly. Smiles brighten and fade, but somehow, as you drive away, it all makes you feel empty. Cold, and empty, and wanting more while wanting less.
Yet one day you will feel full. Yes, I promise, one day you will be full.